Sacred to Me
by Historyexplorer12
Summary: Alexander has a bad dream one night after praying to Zeus for Hephaestion's health and safety. Hephaestion calms him. Warnings: blood, M/M established relationship, T for safety, might be in wrong genres Disclaimer: Alex and Phai are not mine!
**AN: This was not how I meant for this to turn out, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!**

Since he was twelve, Alexander had stopped praying to the gods for himself and prayed with only one person in mind. Hephaestion. Every dawn and every dusk, when Hephaestion was asleep safe in their bed, Alexander would sneak out of bed and go down to the palace's shrine to Zeus and pray, cutting a lock of his hair with a small ceremonial dagger to offer to the god who was his father by way of fire. Then he would creep back to bed and Hephaestion, snuggling in close while burying his face in the other boy's bronze locks.

Even now, some ten years later and thousands of miles from the palace at Pella, Alexander continued his ritual. Except now it was much harder to hide, as Hephaestion was very attentive to him. But it had just turned dark one night on the land that had become a battlefield, and Alexander felt the need to pray. As he was not the only man with a prayer tent, his secret was well hidden from Hephaestion, and so Alexander slipped from his and Hephaestion's shared cot that night and was able to reach his sacred tent without issue.

"My dear father…" He bowed, dropping to the floor in reverence for the god. This done he took a small bundle of oak twigs and cut a lock of hair from his head, tying it in with the bundle before lighting it and blowing out the flame, letting it smoke in the small ceramic bowl he had on the makeshift altar to the god "I pray that you keep Hephaestion safe as he sleeps this night. Bless him with good health and happiness come dawn-"

He would have continued, but was interrupted by a quiet, unsure, "Alexander?" He bowed again as was his custom before standing and going to the tied tent flap, making quick work of the leather strap that held it closed before opening the flap to the cool night air, and a sleepy, upset Hephaestion, who looked very much like a child who was woken from a bad dream in search of his mother and father for comfort in his sleep clothes.

"I am here, my dear Phai. Whatever is the matter?"

"Nothing… I felt you leave our bed and when you did not come back I got worried…" He rubbed his eyes with the back of one hand while covering a large yawn with the other.

"I am here, Phai. No need to fret," Alexander reached out to cup a sleep-marked cheek affectionately, "Go on back to bed, I will just be a moment more."

"Can't-" he yawned again, "Can't sleep without you, Xan'er…"

"I know. I will be there in just a moment, I promise."

" 'Kay… Love you, Xander…"

"And I you, Phai," Alexander replied as Hephaestion turned and made his slow, sleepy way back to their tent and bed.

With another quick bow and an "Amen," up to his father. Alexander left his prayer tent and took the same trail that he knew Hephaestion had taken to go back to their tent and cot. He opened the tent flap to find that Hephaestion was laid on his side of their cot. His entire body language said that he was tired, sad, and dejected. Alexander undressed. Silently by his side of the cot, not getting any response from his love when he laid down on the cot to lay by him, his weight making the grass weave creak.

He turned in the bed to stare at Hephaestion's bent back. He was not sure what sadness had clouded his love's sleep and life at that moment.

"Phai? Are you with Morpheus, my Love?"

Hephaestion's answer was barely a whisper, and he flinched when Alexander's fingers reached out to touch his ribs, "No…"

"What is causing you this distress?"

Hephaestion was quiet for so long at the question that Alexander suspected that he had fallen asleep, but finally Hephaestion's hurt whisper broke the silence, "Why do you pray for me?"

The question stunned Alexander, "Why wouldn't I, Love?"

"I am not worth such a thing…" Hephaestion's body shied away from Alexander's touch yet again, even if he himself did not want the distance.

Alexander opened his mouth to protest, but then let it fall shut without a word as he began to think of what Hephaestion could mean. It was true that he and Roxana were trying- once more- for a child, and that Alexander had recently given Bagoas the title of Advisor, but such things were trivial. Or so he thought. Maybe it was best to press on the issue in this case.

"Love? Would you explain this to me? What do you mean, "You are not worth such a thing?" You deserve the world."

Hephaestion's body became tight, and Alexander resisted the urge to again reach out and comfort him. Finally, Hephaestion spoke, "I have nothing to offer you. I am not Roxana; I can not give you sons. Nor am I Bagoas, who connects you to a whole other world. I am no one."

Alexander was stunned; he could not believe what he was hearing. But he continued to press the discussion, "You are not no one, Love. Who told you such a thing?"

Hephaestion shook his head, eyes welling with tears, "I was not told. I _know_ , Alexander… I have known it since I was put by your side when we were boys. You shine, Alexander, like the sun. I am your counterpart, but no one sees me. I am the moon."

Alexander put a finger to Hephaestion's full lips, too distressed and wild now to listen to much more, "Please, please, stop this, stop saying this. It is not true, it can not be true… Who told you such a thing? I will kill them, I will. I swear I will."

"Then you must kill me… In fact, you already have…" And as Alexander watched, blood blossomed from a slit across Hephaestion's throat and from under his pristine nightclothes. And Alexander could not help but scream.

"Huh!" Alexander bolted upright in the cot where he slept, covered in sweat and shaking violently. It took him a moment to fully come back to himself, but when he did, he became frantic, groping the other side of the cot for the person he hoped would be there. His hand met something, although he did not dare to look, and he gripped it tight, maybe even enough to bruise.

"Wha-? Ow, Xander, you are hurting me. Your fingers-" Hephaestion awoke and made to sit up to release himself from his lover's grasp. It was then that he realized something was very wrong, "Xander? What is it, Love?"

"Are you cut, Phai?"

"What? No. Why do you- Alexander!" Alexander had looked over at his bed companion and burst into heart wrenching sobs, collapsing into Hephaestion's hold, "What is it, are you hurt? Tell me, please, you are scaring me!"

"Oh Phai, it was awful…"

"What was, my Love? Why are you shaking so?" Even as he said this, Hephaestion rearranged them so that he could hold Alexander better, "What mare of the night has us both up at this late hour, hm? It's alright, I am here."

"Please know that I did not mean to do it, Phai…"

"Do what, Love? What did you do?"

"I-" Alexander swallowed thickly, unable to think the words let alone say think them, "I killed you…" He finally whispered.

"Shh, shh, I'm here," Hephaestion kissed his sweaty temple, "Tell me more.."

"I had no knife, but suddenly there was a slit across your throat and a gash in your belly, right after you accused me of killing you, and making you insignificant… I do not mean to be king, you know that, don't you Phai?"

Phai nodded, "I know. It's all right."

"It is my birth. I had no say-"

"I know, Xander. You do not need to explain yourself to me. I love you no matter what."

"You are sacred to me, Phai. Please know that. It is why I pray every night and every morning."

"Hm," Hephaestion sighed as if to say "I've known it the whole time." "I love you, Alexander. How could I not know that? Now let us lay down and join Morpheus once more," he helped him to lay back.

"You are sacred to me, Phai. I could not live without you."

"Nor I you, Alexander. Now sleep, everything will be right again in the morning."

With no more words, Alexander could not help following Hephaestion back into the land of Morpheus, and with much sweeter dreams than before.


End file.
